Father Figure
By Pastor Marvin Moss
This week's topic: Fathers
Throughout the New Testament, Jesus continuously reminds us that He is not functioning in or under His will, but He is doing the will of His father who is in heaven. Even in His most agonizing moment in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus keeps us focused on the connection that has been established and maintained between Him and His father, God. We do not read where Jesus disobeyed His father. We do not read where Jesus disrespected His father. We do not read where Jesus denied knowing His father. This was indeed the perfect relationship--this was the perfect connection.
As men, we find ourselves caught in the trap of trying to meet the daily demands of life on our own. In the dark and difficult times, we lose focus. We lose the connection, and sometimes we lose our very purpose for being. We are then faced with the challenge of refocusing, reconnecting, and returning to our purpose and call to be kings and priests, leaders in our homes, communities and churches. The good news is that through prayer and fasting, study and meditation, worship and fellowship, the temple is rebuilt; the spirit is renewed; and the fellowship is restored. Fundamentally, through our faith and obedience, men and women can experience the same relationship that Jesus had with God, our Father.
As earthly fathers, we strive for a perfect relationship and a perfect connection with our children. Despite our best efforts, sometimes we miss the mark. Many of us grew up with fathers who were absent from the home, in many cases because they were working multiple jobs to sustain the family. Our fathers may not have been there physically, but we had “clothes on our backs” and “houses over our heads.” Then there are fathers who were such disciplinarians that we may have respected (and in some cases feared) them more than having a loving relationship. For those of you who’ve had those experiences- just be thankful that your Father made sure you were out of trouble and safe.
If you now find yourself in a position as a father, uncle, guardian or mentor, take the time to take time for your child. If your dad wasn’t always around for whatever reason-- so be it. Now you can make the difference. Be the father figure God has called you to be.
Circumstances and trials arise that we cannot ignore. Through it all, we must exhibit much patience, love, understanding, and a solid spiritual foundation. It is the solid spiritual foundation that fathers have with God that will enable us to be in relationship with our children and other children. Each year in June, we celebrate fathers and let them know how special they are. Father’s Day is also a time of reflection and recommitment for those of us who are fathers to our own children and to children whose father is not present.
Fathers, as we celebrate, reflect and reconnect, we must remember that our homes, our communities, our churches are dependent upon us to continue to do the will of our Father in heaven who has sent us. Let this be your year to rebuild, renew, and be restored. Go a little farther this year. Testify and encourage another brother! Happy Father’s Day!
Scripture Of The Day: "Going a little farther, He fell with His face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” - Matt. 26:39 (NIV)
Pastor Marvin Moss is senior pastor of Cascade United Methodist Church, located in Atlanta, Georgia. Pastor Moss is extremely active within the Atlanta community, and serves on the Board of Trustees at Gammon Theological Seminary. For more information about Pastor Moss, log onto http://www.cascadeumc.org.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
When Fathers Run
When Fathers Run
By Milan Ford
This week's topic: Fathers
Not long ago, my wife and I stayed up late to watch a program that aired on a particular Christian network that was featuring several dynamic leaders. The primary focus of the program was to discuss the importance of re-establishing a connection between fathers and sons; not simply in the arena of family, but specifically in the arena of ministry.
For approximately 90 minutes, we watched as these leaders shared their passion to see believers awaken to the importance of seeking out a spiritual covering to operate and grow under. They concluded that in the hearts of many within today's generation, there is a seed of rebellion rooted within a desire to succeed and conquer in life as individuals.
Over the past few years, I have had the opportunity to mix and mingle with many leaders my age and younger who have become dissatisfied with where they are in life, and have begun to lean hard into the unknown. While some believe wholeheartedly that their decisions to launch out are God-inspired, there are also some who are honest enough to admit that their decisions to launch out are deeply rooted in what they perceived to be a father’s failure to launch.
Every year, new ministries and churches are being forming out of the pain of unfulfilled sons, rather than out of the joy of fulfilled fathers, who have come to the conclusion that the sons and daughters they have raised are ready to receive an inheritance, and be planted elsewhere. This growing trend has in many ways delayed the blessings that are in store for sons when they refuse to ‘turn their hearts back to their fathers’ (see Malachi 4:5v).
However, as a son, and now a father of three, there was only one thing that troubled me after watching the program. In fact, it troubled me so much that I stayed up through the night reading over a familiar passage of scripture to us all, which is found in Luke 15:
Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.
But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’
Any of this sound familiar? Yep, it is from the parable of the lost son. The prodigal son.
Arguably one of my favorite stories in the entire Bible. So why did I seek this passage out?
What is it about this passage (and the program I had watched that night) that kept me up reading?
The answer is below:
And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.'
I’ve always marveled at how Jesus chose to unwrap this story. Here we find a son, who because of his desire for what was ahead of him, made a decision to disconnect with what was behind him. A decision that cost him everything.
However, when the son discovers that his decision to leave was incorrect, he ‘came to himself’ and arose to come back home to his father. But what is interesting about this story is what happens next. When the father saw that his son was still ‘a great way off’ – he RAN to meet his son.
He ran.
He did not wait for his son to fully return.
He did not wait for His son to issue an apology.
He ran.
While I wholeheartedly believe that more sons need to arise and return back to reconnect to the hearts of fathers, I also believe that there is a responsibility for fathers to RUN. What many fathers fail to realize is that many of their sons have been walking back home for quite some time. However, the length of the road that separates where they are and where their fathers STAND may often give the impression that the process of reconciliation has not begun.
And since many sons have yet to see their fathers RUNNING…
…many have turned away and decided to walk down a different path.
As we pause this upcoming weekend to celebrate the importance of fathers, I want to encourage and strongly admonish every father (both in the natural and the spiritual) to begin to RUN after your sons and daughters as fast as you can. There may be perhaps no greater demonstration of God's love.
Scripture Of The Day: "But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him." - Luke 15:20b (NKJV)
Milan Ford has been a leader (and survivor) of ministry within the local church for most of his life. The author of the brand new book, 83 Things I Wish The Black Church Would Stop Doing, you can find Milan rambling and writing at http://www.thepewview.com.…
By Milan Ford
This week's topic: Fathers
Not long ago, my wife and I stayed up late to watch a program that aired on a particular Christian network that was featuring several dynamic leaders. The primary focus of the program was to discuss the importance of re-establishing a connection between fathers and sons; not simply in the arena of family, but specifically in the arena of ministry.
For approximately 90 minutes, we watched as these leaders shared their passion to see believers awaken to the importance of seeking out a spiritual covering to operate and grow under. They concluded that in the hearts of many within today's generation, there is a seed of rebellion rooted within a desire to succeed and conquer in life as individuals.
Over the past few years, I have had the opportunity to mix and mingle with many leaders my age and younger who have become dissatisfied with where they are in life, and have begun to lean hard into the unknown. While some believe wholeheartedly that their decisions to launch out are God-inspired, there are also some who are honest enough to admit that their decisions to launch out are deeply rooted in what they perceived to be a father’s failure to launch.
Every year, new ministries and churches are being forming out of the pain of unfulfilled sons, rather than out of the joy of fulfilled fathers, who have come to the conclusion that the sons and daughters they have raised are ready to receive an inheritance, and be planted elsewhere. This growing trend has in many ways delayed the blessings that are in store for sons when they refuse to ‘turn their hearts back to their fathers’ (see Malachi 4:5v).
However, as a son, and now a father of three, there was only one thing that troubled me after watching the program. In fact, it troubled me so much that I stayed up through the night reading over a familiar passage of scripture to us all, which is found in Luke 15:
Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.
But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’
Any of this sound familiar? Yep, it is from the parable of the lost son. The prodigal son.
Arguably one of my favorite stories in the entire Bible. So why did I seek this passage out?
What is it about this passage (and the program I had watched that night) that kept me up reading?
The answer is below:
And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.'
I’ve always marveled at how Jesus chose to unwrap this story. Here we find a son, who because of his desire for what was ahead of him, made a decision to disconnect with what was behind him. A decision that cost him everything.
However, when the son discovers that his decision to leave was incorrect, he ‘came to himself’ and arose to come back home to his father. But what is interesting about this story is what happens next. When the father saw that his son was still ‘a great way off’ – he RAN to meet his son.
He ran.
He did not wait for his son to fully return.
He did not wait for His son to issue an apology.
He ran.
While I wholeheartedly believe that more sons need to arise and return back to reconnect to the hearts of fathers, I also believe that there is a responsibility for fathers to RUN. What many fathers fail to realize is that many of their sons have been walking back home for quite some time. However, the length of the road that separates where they are and where their fathers STAND may often give the impression that the process of reconciliation has not begun.
And since many sons have yet to see their fathers RUNNING…
…many have turned away and decided to walk down a different path.
As we pause this upcoming weekend to celebrate the importance of fathers, I want to encourage and strongly admonish every father (both in the natural and the spiritual) to begin to RUN after your sons and daughters as fast as you can. There may be perhaps no greater demonstration of God's love.
Scripture Of The Day: "But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him." - Luke 15:20b (NKJV)
Milan Ford has been a leader (and survivor) of ministry within the local church for most of his life. The author of the brand new book, 83 Things I Wish The Black Church Would Stop Doing, you can find Milan rambling and writing at http://www.thepewview.com.…
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Ever Present
Ever Present
By Aqualyn Toi Jones
This week's topic: Fathers
Every day in America 4,184 babies are born to unmarried mothers (State of America’s Children 2008 Report). Of that number over 1,000 of them are born to teenage moms. Today, over 40% of our children grow up in a home without a father.
My heart goes out to children who grow up without fathers in the home. I’m the quintessential “Daddy’s Girl.” I can’t think of a time when my father wasn’t physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially present in my life. From Thanksgiving Day parades to teaching me to ride a bike and drive. In moments of despair and moments of celebration. He has always been there. Just like another father I know.
Thankfully, we all have a Father in God on whom we can depend. One who promises to never leave or forsake us. One who knows everything about us and yet, still loves us the same.
It’s somewhat easy for me to believe that Father God is concerned about me – that He has plans for my life. I’ve had a biological father who is a great example of that. I can believe that God loves me because I believe that my father loves me. I believe that Father God accepts me as I am because my Dad continues to do that in my adulthood.
Whether we realize it or not, we often transfer our beliefs, disappointments, and thoughts about our biological fathers onto our Heavenly Father. It’s hard to believe that Father God is for me when I didn’t feel that my father was for me. It’s hard to see God as trustworthy when I wasn’t able to trust in my earthly father. If my concept of fathers has been damaged or unstable, my relationship with God will reflect some of that uncertainty.
Fathers have to be ever-present. Children never outgrow the love, affection, and discipline that fathers provide. Regardless of our age, we find peace in knowing that our fathers are still present. Long after we’ve moved out on our own. Long after we’ve obtained a job and can afford to take care of ourselves. We still need you. We always have and we always will.
Let us first question what it is we feel in our hearts towards our fathers. Then, let’s not be afraid to admit what we find there. And if we find some damage and broken areas, let’s take the steps that are necessary to heal. Then, let us ask that same question in regards to our Father God?
What we find there may surprise us but there is nothing too hard for God.
Scripture Of The Day: "The LORD watches over the strangers; He relieves the fatherless and widow..." - Psalm 146:9a (NKJV)
Toi Jones is a writer and an advocate for youth, underdogs, and all things (and people) that are broken and overlooked. Compassionate at her core, Toi is also an educator, a mentor, and a supporter of multiple initiatives for South Africa. For more information about Toi, log onto http://www.bewrite-livewrite.typepad.com.…
By Aqualyn Toi Jones
This week's topic: Fathers
Every day in America 4,184 babies are born to unmarried mothers (State of America’s Children 2008 Report). Of that number over 1,000 of them are born to teenage moms. Today, over 40% of our children grow up in a home without a father.
My heart goes out to children who grow up without fathers in the home. I’m the quintessential “Daddy’s Girl.” I can’t think of a time when my father wasn’t physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially present in my life. From Thanksgiving Day parades to teaching me to ride a bike and drive. In moments of despair and moments of celebration. He has always been there. Just like another father I know.
Thankfully, we all have a Father in God on whom we can depend. One who promises to never leave or forsake us. One who knows everything about us and yet, still loves us the same.
It’s somewhat easy for me to believe that Father God is concerned about me – that He has plans for my life. I’ve had a biological father who is a great example of that. I can believe that God loves me because I believe that my father loves me. I believe that Father God accepts me as I am because my Dad continues to do that in my adulthood.
Whether we realize it or not, we often transfer our beliefs, disappointments, and thoughts about our biological fathers onto our Heavenly Father. It’s hard to believe that Father God is for me when I didn’t feel that my father was for me. It’s hard to see God as trustworthy when I wasn’t able to trust in my earthly father. If my concept of fathers has been damaged or unstable, my relationship with God will reflect some of that uncertainty.
Fathers have to be ever-present. Children never outgrow the love, affection, and discipline that fathers provide. Regardless of our age, we find peace in knowing that our fathers are still present. Long after we’ve moved out on our own. Long after we’ve obtained a job and can afford to take care of ourselves. We still need you. We always have and we always will.
Let us first question what it is we feel in our hearts towards our fathers. Then, let’s not be afraid to admit what we find there. And if we find some damage and broken areas, let’s take the steps that are necessary to heal. Then, let us ask that same question in regards to our Father God?
What we find there may surprise us but there is nothing too hard for God.
Scripture Of The Day: "The LORD watches over the strangers; He relieves the fatherless and widow..." - Psalm 146:9a (NKJV)
Toi Jones is a writer and an advocate for youth, underdogs, and all things (and people) that are broken and overlooked. Compassionate at her core, Toi is also an educator, a mentor, and a supporter of multiple initiatives for South Africa. For more information about Toi, log onto http://www.bewrite-livewrite.typepad.com.…
Moving Forward
Moving Forward
By Tanya James
This week's topic: Fathers
On this upcoming Sunday, we will celebrate Father’s Day. And while many will celebrate, I realize many reading this devotional today may be upset, depressed, bitter and/or hurt because of their relationship (or lack of) with their father. This holiday may bring up old feelings and issues that have never been handled, just buried.
Unfortunately, often times when a person has experienced a bad relationship with their natural father, it’s hard for them to fully grasp the love of their Heavenly Father. And that’s quite understandable that if the man that stands before you has not demonstrated a father’s love – why it would be difficult to understand why God, who you have never seen face to face would be any different.
However, if you are one of those people who don’t have a “father-child” relationship for whatever reason – they were not around, you never knew who they were, they were abusive, they died at a young age … whatever the case may be … I admonish you to make a decision now to finally let it go. No longer allow it to dictate your life. No, you may not be able to change what has happened but you can change how it affects the rest of your life.
You have the ability and the strength from God to take a stand and say, “no more.” Choose to forgive, so that you can move forward. “Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Colossians 3:13
Choose to no longer be trapped in a “self-pity” box blaming all your woes on what your father did or did not do. Choose to destroy that crutch and live a joyous life regardless of your past. “Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
More importantly, choose to allow God to show you what an awesome father HE is – one that loves unconditionally and has only your best interest at heart. God will never leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He has already equipped you with everything you need to step out on faith and in His strength to overcome the pain and no longer allow yourself to be a victim of circumstance!
And to those who grew up with incredible, supportive and encouraging fathers don’t miss the opportunity to tell them how much you appreciate them, not just on Father’s Day, but every chance you get!
Scripture Of The Day: "A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows,Is God in His holy habitation." - Psalm 68:5 (NKJV)
Founder and president of The Master Plan, Tanya James is the author of From Promiscuity to Proverbs 31: Getting Off the Fence of Sexual Immorality. For more information about Tanya, log onto http://www.armedanddangerous.biz or http://www.themasterplan.biz.
By Tanya James
This week's topic: Fathers
On this upcoming Sunday, we will celebrate Father’s Day. And while many will celebrate, I realize many reading this devotional today may be upset, depressed, bitter and/or hurt because of their relationship (or lack of) with their father. This holiday may bring up old feelings and issues that have never been handled, just buried.
Unfortunately, often times when a person has experienced a bad relationship with their natural father, it’s hard for them to fully grasp the love of their Heavenly Father. And that’s quite understandable that if the man that stands before you has not demonstrated a father’s love – why it would be difficult to understand why God, who you have never seen face to face would be any different.
However, if you are one of those people who don’t have a “father-child” relationship for whatever reason – they were not around, you never knew who they were, they were abusive, they died at a young age … whatever the case may be … I admonish you to make a decision now to finally let it go. No longer allow it to dictate your life. No, you may not be able to change what has happened but you can change how it affects the rest of your life.
You have the ability and the strength from God to take a stand and say, “no more.” Choose to forgive, so that you can move forward. “Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” Colossians 3:13
Choose to no longer be trapped in a “self-pity” box blaming all your woes on what your father did or did not do. Choose to destroy that crutch and live a joyous life regardless of your past. “Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
More importantly, choose to allow God to show you what an awesome father HE is – one that loves unconditionally and has only your best interest at heart. God will never leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He has already equipped you with everything you need to step out on faith and in His strength to overcome the pain and no longer allow yourself to be a victim of circumstance!
And to those who grew up with incredible, supportive and encouraging fathers don’t miss the opportunity to tell them how much you appreciate them, not just on Father’s Day, but every chance you get!
Scripture Of The Day: "A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows,Is God in His holy habitation." - Psalm 68:5 (NKJV)
Founder and president of The Master Plan, Tanya James is the author of From Promiscuity to Proverbs 31: Getting Off the Fence of Sexual Immorality. For more information about Tanya, log onto http://www.armedanddangerous.biz or http://www.themasterplan.biz.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Eight Ways To Become a Better Father
Eight Ways To Become A Better Father
By Pastor Gregory Dickow
This week's topic: Fathers
Parenting is one of the most rewarding - and most challenging - jobs out there. As an encouragement to fathers, I want to share with you the eight ways to become a better father. Even if you're not a father yet, or your kids have grown up and moved away ...or you're a single mom raising children without a father, there's something in this list for you.
But don't read these points and tuck them away for another day. Start acting on them right now - it's never too late to become a better father! Your children will thank you!
1. Get to know God as Father.
God is the ultimate Father ...loving, wise, encouraging, slow to anger. As a father, you are His representative here on earth, and if you get to know Him better, you can better parent your own children. So spend time in prayer. Spend time in the Word. Spend time building a relationship with your Heavenly Father. Understand that He loves you, comforts you, protects you, provides for you ALL THE TIME ...and you'll be better able to do the same for your own children.
2. Give your children a sense of belonging, acceptance, and identity.
Remember how much God the Father loved His Son. He loved Jesus from day one - before Jesus accomplished anything, before He laid hands on one person or preached one sermon. So don't treat your children as an interruption. Don't make them feel that they're in the way. You're a parent and your job is to do the parenting!
Make sure your children feel that they hold a unique place in your special family. They belong there, and what matters to them should matter to you. So if they bring you a problem - a bully at school or a tough test ahead - talk to them. Listen to them. Maybe you faced the same predicament as a child and know that it's not a big deal. But to them right now, that problem is a big deal - maybe the biggest one they've faced so far in their lives.
3. Embrace your children.
One of the best ways to give your children that sense of belonging is to hug them - even when they wiggle out of your arms. Hugs are therapeutic and give children acceptance, love, and warmth. Studies even say that they reduce the risk of sickness and disease!
4. Love your wife.
A sense of security comes to a child who sees his father love his mother. They need that security! Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church." Christ loved the Church unconditionally, uncompromisingly, sacrificially, continuously. Love your wife like that, and your marriage will blossom ...and your children will blossom too.
5. Respect your child's thoughts, feelings, and dreams.
Please, guard your tongue. Don't let the words, "That's a dumb idea. That's stupid." come out of your mouth. If you had come up with that idea, maybe it would have been dumb. But since your child did, it's the best one you've ever heard!
6. Keep your promises.
Be careful of the promises you make. Love says, "I will never break my promise." So, again, you have to watch your tongue. Get it under control, and don't commit to something you can't make good on. When you say you'll do something, do it! Keeping promises also builds trust. When your children have grown up and are no longer under your care, they'll be able to trust God because you paved the way. Your behavior can offer them a glimpse of their Heavenly Father!
7. Encourage your children.
The first part of Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, don't exasperate your children" (NIV). In other words, encourage them! You can do that through kind words - like, "You're so smart." "You're a thoughtful child." "I'm proud to be your father." You can also do that through your actions. So, smile at them! Give them more hugs!
Sometimes it's easy for us as parents to forget that our kids aren't little adults - they're children. They don't have all the skills grown-ups do. So, when your daughter knocks over the lamp in the living room, for example, show her understanding. Don't discourage her, and don't rebuke her for being uncoordinated or clumsy - her body just isn't done growing.
8. Teach them the Word.
The second part of Ephesians 6:4 says, "Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (NIV). So teach them the Word; encourage them to build their lives on it. And let them see you following the Word yourself. They'll thank you for this for the rest of your life.
A note for single mothers: If you're a mom raising your children on your own, you can do it. Many of the principles above can be applied to your situation. Sure, you need to make up for the lack that your kids are experiencing, for the father that's not fulfilling his obligations. But God is on your side. He's a "father to the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5). You're not doing it alone.
God bless all of you as parents!
Scripture Of The Day: "The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who begets a wise child will delight in him." - Proverbs 23:24 (NKJV)
Pastor Gregory M. Dickow is the founder and Senior Pastor of Life Changers International Church, one of the largest congregations in the Chicago land area, and the Host of Changing Your Life television program that reaches more than 500 million households weekly. For more information, go to http://www.changinglives.org.…
By Pastor Gregory Dickow
This week's topic: Fathers
Parenting is one of the most rewarding - and most challenging - jobs out there. As an encouragement to fathers, I want to share with you the eight ways to become a better father. Even if you're not a father yet, or your kids have grown up and moved away ...or you're a single mom raising children without a father, there's something in this list for you.
But don't read these points and tuck them away for another day. Start acting on them right now - it's never too late to become a better father! Your children will thank you!
1. Get to know God as Father.
God is the ultimate Father ...loving, wise, encouraging, slow to anger. As a father, you are His representative here on earth, and if you get to know Him better, you can better parent your own children. So spend time in prayer. Spend time in the Word. Spend time building a relationship with your Heavenly Father. Understand that He loves you, comforts you, protects you, provides for you ALL THE TIME ...and you'll be better able to do the same for your own children.
2. Give your children a sense of belonging, acceptance, and identity.
Remember how much God the Father loved His Son. He loved Jesus from day one - before Jesus accomplished anything, before He laid hands on one person or preached one sermon. So don't treat your children as an interruption. Don't make them feel that they're in the way. You're a parent and your job is to do the parenting!
Make sure your children feel that they hold a unique place in your special family. They belong there, and what matters to them should matter to you. So if they bring you a problem - a bully at school or a tough test ahead - talk to them. Listen to them. Maybe you faced the same predicament as a child and know that it's not a big deal. But to them right now, that problem is a big deal - maybe the biggest one they've faced so far in their lives.
3. Embrace your children.
One of the best ways to give your children that sense of belonging is to hug them - even when they wiggle out of your arms. Hugs are therapeutic and give children acceptance, love, and warmth. Studies even say that they reduce the risk of sickness and disease!
4. Love your wife.
A sense of security comes to a child who sees his father love his mother. They need that security! Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church." Christ loved the Church unconditionally, uncompromisingly, sacrificially, continuously. Love your wife like that, and your marriage will blossom ...and your children will blossom too.
5. Respect your child's thoughts, feelings, and dreams.
Please, guard your tongue. Don't let the words, "That's a dumb idea. That's stupid." come out of your mouth. If you had come up with that idea, maybe it would have been dumb. But since your child did, it's the best one you've ever heard!
6. Keep your promises.
Be careful of the promises you make. Love says, "I will never break my promise." So, again, you have to watch your tongue. Get it under control, and don't commit to something you can't make good on. When you say you'll do something, do it! Keeping promises also builds trust. When your children have grown up and are no longer under your care, they'll be able to trust God because you paved the way. Your behavior can offer them a glimpse of their Heavenly Father!
7. Encourage your children.
The first part of Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, don't exasperate your children" (NIV). In other words, encourage them! You can do that through kind words - like, "You're so smart." "You're a thoughtful child." "I'm proud to be your father." You can also do that through your actions. So, smile at them! Give them more hugs!
Sometimes it's easy for us as parents to forget that our kids aren't little adults - they're children. They don't have all the skills grown-ups do. So, when your daughter knocks over the lamp in the living room, for example, show her understanding. Don't discourage her, and don't rebuke her for being uncoordinated or clumsy - her body just isn't done growing.
8. Teach them the Word.
The second part of Ephesians 6:4 says, "Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (NIV). So teach them the Word; encourage them to build their lives on it. And let them see you following the Word yourself. They'll thank you for this for the rest of your life.
A note for single mothers: If you're a mom raising your children on your own, you can do it. Many of the principles above can be applied to your situation. Sure, you need to make up for the lack that your kids are experiencing, for the father that's not fulfilling his obligations. But God is on your side. He's a "father to the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5). You're not doing it alone.
God bless all of you as parents!
Scripture Of The Day: "The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who begets a wise child will delight in him." - Proverbs 23:24 (NKJV)
Pastor Gregory M. Dickow is the founder and Senior Pastor of Life Changers International Church, one of the largest congregations in the Chicago land area, and the Host of Changing Your Life television program that reaches more than 500 million households weekly. For more information, go to http://www.changinglives.org.…
Monday, June 14, 2010
Tea With My Father
Tea With My Father
By Latrice Pace
This week's topic: Fathers
The most meaningful moments in a daughter’s life is spent with her father. I remember my mother telling me the story of her and my Daddy sitting up in the dining room late one night around the heater talking. I was playing around in his lap for hours and was suddenly at his feet. He then asked her what I was doing, I was sleep.
Daddy had been working all day, just as he did every day of my life. When he finally got home I just wanted to be around him. I’m sure my bed was more comfortable than that hard wood floor, but I was comforted and at peace knowing that I was at the feet of my Daddy.
In losing my Daddy in November of 2008 his purpose in my life became all the more clearer. Fathers play an essential role in their daughter's lives. Many things are learned and many things are taught. I learned to be assertive without being aggressive. I learned that some men are only capable of communicating their love with provision and security (Note: I didn’t generalize). I was taught that a man should be willing to dig ditches if he had to in order to provide for his family. Just a few of the invaluable lessons I will cherish.
As a little girl I sought acceptance, validation, and the approval of my Daddy, as every little girl does. Sometimes wishing I were an only child so I could get it all and get it all of the time. After his homegoing I didn’t only mourn his death, I also mourned the void that the absence of his presence left. As well as those things I felt I was deprived of. I thought, “How in the world am I going to get them now?”
Well, a few weeks later I had a dream about him. He was sitting at a table having tea and I was invited. Now, I have personally experienced in the European culture that for years they honored their tea time. Not only for it’s health benefits, but to relax, unwind and spend time with their friends. Their businesses would cease to operate in honor of afternoon tea. Purposely to relax, unwind and spend time with friends. My Daddy wanted to relax, unwind and spend time with me, his daughter and friend.
Playing on a black and white television behind the table where he was sitting was footage of my mother in her younger years. He then apologized to me and wished things could have been better, different. He wished he could have left a greater inheritance. He then wished he could simply take me to dinner.
Now, I’m not here to debate whether the dream I had about my deceased father was of God or scriptural. I’m simply sharing my experience. Even after his death he had a desire to provide for me. He wanted me to want for nothing. As our tea time came to an end I then assured him that I was going to be ok and that our heavenly Father had it covered.
Many have lost their natural father, but just as it is in the natural, it is in the spiritual. Our spiritual Father is waiting for His time to fill your void and validate. His time to relax, unwind and talk to you, his friend.
Scripture Of The Day: "Our fathers trusted in You;They trusted, and You delivered them." - Psalm 22:4 (NKJV)
Latrice A. Pace, longtime member of Gospel group, The Pace Sisters. Latrice was recently featured in Tyler Perry’s What’s Done In The Dark, as well as the stage musical play, Jesus Christ Superstar Gospel. She has performed with and contributed background vocals for many of today’s most popular gospel artists.
By Latrice Pace
This week's topic: Fathers
The most meaningful moments in a daughter’s life is spent with her father. I remember my mother telling me the story of her and my Daddy sitting up in the dining room late one night around the heater talking. I was playing around in his lap for hours and was suddenly at his feet. He then asked her what I was doing, I was sleep.
Daddy had been working all day, just as he did every day of my life. When he finally got home I just wanted to be around him. I’m sure my bed was more comfortable than that hard wood floor, but I was comforted and at peace knowing that I was at the feet of my Daddy.
In losing my Daddy in November of 2008 his purpose in my life became all the more clearer. Fathers play an essential role in their daughter's lives. Many things are learned and many things are taught. I learned to be assertive without being aggressive. I learned that some men are only capable of communicating their love with provision and security (Note: I didn’t generalize). I was taught that a man should be willing to dig ditches if he had to in order to provide for his family. Just a few of the invaluable lessons I will cherish.
As a little girl I sought acceptance, validation, and the approval of my Daddy, as every little girl does. Sometimes wishing I were an only child so I could get it all and get it all of the time. After his homegoing I didn’t only mourn his death, I also mourned the void that the absence of his presence left. As well as those things I felt I was deprived of. I thought, “How in the world am I going to get them now?”
Well, a few weeks later I had a dream about him. He was sitting at a table having tea and I was invited. Now, I have personally experienced in the European culture that for years they honored their tea time. Not only for it’s health benefits, but to relax, unwind and spend time with their friends. Their businesses would cease to operate in honor of afternoon tea. Purposely to relax, unwind and spend time with friends. My Daddy wanted to relax, unwind and spend time with me, his daughter and friend.
Playing on a black and white television behind the table where he was sitting was footage of my mother in her younger years. He then apologized to me and wished things could have been better, different. He wished he could have left a greater inheritance. He then wished he could simply take me to dinner.
Now, I’m not here to debate whether the dream I had about my deceased father was of God or scriptural. I’m simply sharing my experience. Even after his death he had a desire to provide for me. He wanted me to want for nothing. As our tea time came to an end I then assured him that I was going to be ok and that our heavenly Father had it covered.
Many have lost their natural father, but just as it is in the natural, it is in the spiritual. Our spiritual Father is waiting for His time to fill your void and validate. His time to relax, unwind and talk to you, his friend.
Scripture Of The Day: "Our fathers trusted in You;They trusted, and You delivered them." - Psalm 22:4 (NKJV)
Latrice A. Pace, longtime member of Gospel group, The Pace Sisters. Latrice was recently featured in Tyler Perry’s What’s Done In The Dark, as well as the stage musical play, Jesus Christ Superstar Gospel. She has performed with and contributed background vocals for many of today’s most popular gospel artists.
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