Two Sides Of Motherhood

Two Sides of Motherhood
By Dr. Cynthia James
This week's topic: Mothers


Motherhood has been enthroned with apple pie for centuries. Consequently, we should be able to bear a brief discussion of both the objective and subjective sides of motherhood as an institution. Motherhood can be a self-fulfilling, rewarding, all-loving venture but it has another side which is seldom discussed but which should render it all the more revered.


We relish the image of perfect mothers – larger than life, but recently a 19-year-old mother was arrested as a suspect in the death of her 2-year-old. This youthful mother had a younger child in the crib and is expecting a third child in a matter of months. I wonder what she would tell us about motherhood. Motherhood that is characterized by isolation can be dangerous and destructive. Yes, motherhood is to be celebrated but let’s be courageous enough to look at the system of patriarchy and economics that is sometimes an underpinning to motherhood. Motherhood has its own politics and may be surrounded by power relationships. The presence or absence of adequate resources and supportive people are additional features shaping the experience of motherhood.

Despite the fact that we socialize our young girls to become mothers, we lack adequate structures to prepare and train them for motherhood and marriage. One of the inherent contradictions in our traditional socialization practices is that girls are often socialized to be dependent and when they marry they are expected to function independently as caregivers. This model has happily been adjusted to some extent. High school curriculums recognize that preparation for motherhood and marriage involves more than a home economics class. Today girls are encouraged to prepare academically and financially in the event that they need to be self-supporting .

There isn’t total agreement about this shift in values. Some feel that working mothers have contributed to the problem of poor achieving youth. Because motherhood is a role uniquely reserved for women, daughters tend to imitate the practices of their mothers. This means that good practices as well as dysfunctional ones tend to be passed on readily. Our society needs to focus more on making motherhood a protected and well supported institution. It should be observed, studied and funded in order to enjoy the legal protections common to other institutions in our society.

The Scriptures do a better job of presenting the realities of motherhood than our idealized clichés. The strength of mothers like Jochebed and Lemuel’s mother is not lost because of the revealing look into the lives of mothers like Lot’s wife who was disobedient, Rachel who was a thief, and Rebekah who was conniving. The point is that when the institution of motherhood is viewed objectively and subjectively the role may be filled with contradictions, conflict and delights. Like every other significant endeavor in life it takes the Love of God to effectively juggle the pressure and the privileges of motherhood.

Motherhood is a gift and a trust from God that carries an assignment to responsibly rear children to be followers of Christ. Unfortunately, some persons in our culture devalue motherhood. Mothers have a singularly unique advantage of helping to develop the gender identification of future generations. There is tremendous power invested in mothers, the unheralded champions of the nursery.

Women who choose the task of motherhood and live out traditional roles should not be called to apologize or give an explanation because they see the role of motherhood as superior to entering the job market. The ultimate status assigned to motherhood is found in the Scriptures. Clearly the Scriptures say enough for us to know that God looks favorably on those who serve honorably as mothers. Others need to know that they have support visible and invisible for a divinely created role, a blessed estate. Motherhood, when lived out in biblically faithful ways, points to the nurturing love and grace of the Lord.

Scripture Of The Day: "Good friend, follow your father's good advice; don't wander off from your mother's teachings." - Proverbs 6:20 (The Message)


Dr. Cynthia James is a Christian Psychologist who pastors two local congregations in Oakland, CA and brings an intellectually sound yet fervent approach to ministry. She oversees the credentialing, counseling, and pastoral care of approximately 140 pastors and ministers serving 60 Church of God congregations in the Northern California, Northern Nevada,…