Beyond The Shadow of Doubt

Monday, February 01, 2010 Print Article
Leave a Comment
Beyond The Shadow Of Doubt
Bonnie St. John
Numbers 6:26 (NKJV) - "May the LORD lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace."

Every day we are faced with literally hundreds of decisions. I don't think it's possible to get through even a few minutes without deciding something. Most of these decisions are relatively inconsequential, like where to put your car keys so you'll be able to find them later, or what to eat (or not eat) for lunch. Some decisions, though, transcend our daily rituals and have real, lasting impact on our lives. It is in these times, when faced with choices that truly matter, that we look to the Lord for guidance.

Some of these decisions are easy. You know what is right and what is wrong. There is very little doubt about what to do. You may not want to do the right thing, but at least you know what it is. So the decision is easy, even if following through is hard.

Knowing the right path to take can be very difficult, however, when the choice between "right" and "wrong" is not so clear. As Thomas Payne so eloquently put it when discussing the call to arms in our American Revolution: "These are the times that try men's souls..."

In the times that try my soul, I often find myself completely consumed. I fret and worry about the "what if's" - what if this happens, or what if that happens. It's awful! I find that a tough decision can soak up my energy for weeks as I wrestle with it in the back of my mind. The decision pulls at me, back and forth, and commands my attention even when I try to put it aside.

In writing my book, HOW STRONG WOMEN PRAY, this struggle with right and wrong, with confidence and doubt, became a common theme with the women I interviewed. And guess what? It turns out there's an easy way to get an enormous amount of clarity, focus, and strength when facing a seemingly impossible decision: Pray about it!

Martha Williamson, producer of the award winning TV show "," spoke to me about the day she decided to accept the job and take on this rather unusual show.

When the opportunity was presented before her, Martha happened to be in a foul mood. A pilot she had created around an idea she was really passionate about had been just been summarily rejected by all the networks. She was at home, licking her wounds, when her agent sent her a script for a show called "Angels in the Attic." The angels swore, drank, and smoked. They flew around like idiots, with huge wings that resembled venetian blinds! She told her agent it offended every Christian principle she had and she wanted nothing to do with it.

But something bothered her. She couldn't find peace about this decision. And then it hit her: She didn't pray about it!

"Why is it the last thing we think about instead of the first thing?" Martha said to me.

Well, she prayed and prayed. God lead her to reconsider her decision. She took that ridiculous germ of an idea, threw out that horrible script, and created one of the most beloved television shows of all time.

Now, sometimes even praying can leave you feeling conflicted and still filled with doubt. It can take quite a while for the final decision to manifest itself. But with our faith in God, we know it always will.

Supermodel and businesswoman Kathy Ireland gave me some valuable advice on this point: "God is a God of peace. If you don't feel at peace about your decision, then it's not God's will."

When I am wrestling over a tough decision, this advice is a real touchstone for me. If I am not at peace, I'm not quite getting to God's answer. If I have doubts, if I still feel that churning in my tummy, God still has more work to do. And I have more listening to do. So, I take my time. I pray. I listen. I open my heart to His spirit within me. And then, I make His decision.



A professional speaker and Olympic medalist, Bonnie St. John has appeared on the Today Show, CNN, the 700 Club, and Life Today. The author of How Strong Women Pray and Live Your Joy, Bonnie St. John is committed to reaching out to the world with a message of triumph over circumstance. For more information about Bonnie, log onto www.bonniestjohn.com or read her blog at www.bonniestjohn.com/blog.aspx


© Bonnie St. John all rights reserved.